Edmonton Part Something Else

The world is a strange place.

Very strange place

I think it should be removed.

or maybe I should be moved to a less strange place.

Oh well. 

So, one day I just randomly went to Edmonton. Edmonton is a strange place as well. Jeff came along for the ride. The main purpose for this trip to Edmonton was to see  a friend and hopefully find out more about this strange and wonderful thingy that they are planning on having me be a part of.  Jeff refused to allow this to happen. but then again. maybe I don’t need to know.

So, I went to Edmonton. spent most of the day at the strangest place on earth. WEM.  curse them. I mean no, don’t curse them. that would be evil. and I should not be evil should I?

so. wandered around this mall allot, saw a few fast food joints, a drug store one restaurant, one arcade, one lan gaming placeamajigg, one chapters, one computer(ish) store.  what was the point of that?

I learned that I am a noob at chess (who guessed) I can beat Jeff, and if I really was paying attention may have a chance against Kurt. 

I saw a Tim Horton’s. (the inside) coffee and donuts. yay. I saw um. a macs, and that was about it. Jeff and I argued about such things as when the average person gets off work, the likely hood of him beating me in "Battle for Middle Earth" and something about something I have forgotten.

Kurt showed me "The Warchiefs", I met Cam the almighty. 🙂 um.I managed to do 2 and a half so dukos, or du sukos?

I stayed up for lots of hours, only slept the last night. 

I learned about the wayz.

or more accurately I heard the wayz again.

I think maybe Jeff finally may have picked up some of the wayz.

We talked allot about  stuff. mostly the ways.

So , what are the ways?

Sigh. I hate quantum physics. Too much bad philosophy.

Kurt wants me to give notice right now and move to Edmonton next month. I should. the rent at the apartment they are in is 860$ sigh. need roommate for that. one block from wem, and do they have vacancies? and can I just pack up and leave. and apparently getting a job is easy.

Yeah. more on the ways was they arrive

Search my pretties Search. Bwa ha ha

So, I have updated my website, call it Website 2.1 or something.

I now have a search engine. YAY. um. not so yay.

to the left there should be now a little unlabled box, type something in it and press enter, I dare you. Search over 180 blog entries and comments. yes whee, whooooo!!!

so. go for it. see what you can see.

here are a couple of searches for some reason or another:


still a few bugs. possibly, but it should work. oh and I fixed the lots and lots of query problems. should have effect on the server.

Why My Website Sucks

My website sucks.

I wrote it.

That pretty much explains everything.

I have a really nasty habit of writing silly software. Really silly.

I am not really sure of the cause of the slowdown to my website in the past few days, I have heard rumors that my site IP address is changing, you should not notice a difference, but this means there will be a transitional period in which the old address and the new address both will work. Honestly? I don’t think that really works that well. I am not sure if that is what is going on.I have experience other slowdowns on my website before but am unsure of the cause. Traffic? doubt that .  What I find funny is sometimes I get and infernal service error, and sometimes I get permission denied, and other times I get could not find file required on page so and so.

But. as most things usually are at the end of the day, I am going to assume it is my fault.

And So, I am going to tell you why my website sucks.

Why My Website Sucks

It started way back in the day when I was looking into not having to maintain my website. I hate maintaining websites. I mean ig. very boring to modify and upload 5 billion pages so they all work and function the same. I then found Perl. perl was cool, well I loved perl (don’t use it much anymore ). But with perl I found I could create dynamic web pages, pages that you could just create "templates" or something similar and dump the content into the middle, meaning all you would ever have to do is update the content. YAY for me. 

That was all fine and dandy.

But that was way too much work. why would I ever update my content?

And with perl, the "quirks" in the language pretty much had me wishing there was a better way. Don’t get me wrong perl will do lots and everything you ever need, but for webpages, I would prefer something designed for the web. And All I ever designed using perl was a fairly ugly website that does not exist anymore, a search engine (that was cool) and a webmail client that did not always work.

Enter PHP.


PHP has classes, polymorphism, encapsulation, and was designed for webpages.

I have mentioned before, I like over complicating my work. Really over complicating.

PHP Website version 1.

I don’t really know if this was my first php website. The first I can remember. It had an odd design.

Drawing it out would be rather difficult here, but I will try to explain.

The concept was really rather simple. create a class the defines the template (however that happens) and each page on the site would then define its own class that extended this template class thus allowing the page to merely concentrate on the content.

now, how this happened was rather convoluted and strange. and at this point looking at what I have written, I wonder why I scrapped that idea. seems rather cool to me. much better then my current design.

Anyways. as I was saying convoluted and strange.

Here is a basic rundown of what was happening.

Any page on the server would first include the "configuration" file located on the document root of the webserver, this file would define things such as global parameters as well reading site cookies, determining what template was to be used, and loading additional scripts that are required. One of these scripts would be the "template" script which defined a basic class or interface in which all template classes extended. The template was then also loaded and finally control returned back to the requested page which then extended the template class and finally outputted a page.

Now that I think about it, I think there were two reasons why I got rid of this design, First I don’t like how many times the classes were being extended, and secondly the requested page required the page content to be inside a function and finally written with a $myPage->dump().

Scripting languages. if it was compiled, maybe would not have cared as much. possibly. Zend anyone?

I figured that was really inefficient. lol. Compared to what I have now that was nice. and I was not even using a database at that time.

PHP Website version 2.

The second and current design went away (mostly) with the class approach to templating.

Now it is even stranger.

I figured I wanted simply a call at the top of the page to dump the template start, and a call at the end to dump the template end. This idea seemed all fine and dandy until I felt I needed to add more complicated templating such as blogs, menus and logos.

So, i do a lot of function_exists to see if I can call something page related, site related or template related. sigh, this is where the classes were nicer.

This however did allow me to make pages entirely in html if I so desired with a simple call at the top and at the bottom.

Other then that the design of the site was pretty much the same.

But I needed a database.

Silly me

I used a class design, and finally settled on a naming convention that only includes a couple of "databases".

I really should not be allowed to do this.

I wrote classes to encapsulate the creation and modification of tables, and data access. It automatically updates tables (with no loss of data) with new version of class,  and basically provides common insert, update, remove and select routines. 

The class would contain all the tables for a specific application, for example, there is a "blog" class which contains a post table, comment table, category table and links between them. I have forum, search, permissions, and user/group classes as well.

I recently noticed that to simply load one page, with no dynamic content calling only the authentication  (is logged in) methods, I was doing 12 database queries.

huh? 12?

If I decided to view the blog page there was 38. a search did 17.

Something needs to be changed.

Some of this problem is redundant database queries, caching will fix that. Some of this can also be fixed by grouping select queries into one query.


I hate css, I really do, I hate javascript, I really do. But nowadays that is pretty much what everyone is using. 

This is my first website designed with CSS, not totally, but the template was done with css.

I have noticed that tables tend to mess up this css, plus not all browsers handle css the same. This website has a number of graphical quirks that appear once in a while.


Back in the day I could write applications in javascript, I wrote a database query manager similar to that found in access for a mysql database entirely in php and javascript. was fun. but I decided that I would not try to write a word processor. I could not with a real language (and I tried) so with a scripting language such as javascript I decided not to. so I got FCKEditor http://www.fckeditor.net/ which was apparently first designed by "Frederico Caldeira Knabben" hence the name.

I don’t really like it. it seems to me to be a bit buggy sometimes. plus does doublespacing or limits my formating depending on how I configure it. also its depository of images is in a location I do not like. will have to do some fixing I guess.






My website sucks. it is inefficient, poorly designed and causes me headaches.

Wait for version 3 it will be better, although I do like how I formatted version 2’s template. yay

um. will there be a version 3?


One who is habitually drunk.


So, Jeff was going to have a friend over for some drinkingnnnngn ness. so we bought some alcohol.

Brandy, Gin, Irish Whiskey, Strawberry Cream liqueur, and Green apple Bacardi.


Normally there is not this much alcohol running around our place at any given time. But this was a special case. However, Jeff overslept and the "party" did not happen. 

So, we have this large amount of alcohol.

I have never really been drunk. I have had the equivalent of say two beers at a sitting and that is about it, so, at that stage I get a bit dizzy. I hate that feeling. However Jeff insisted we try them all. so, I had at least one shot of each. so, that would be over double the alcohol I have had in one sitting.

Drunk people are interesting.

Jeff did not have much more alcohol then I did, which I find interesting, however he did continue after I stopped, but when drunk Jeff talks allot. Which is not unusually when he is not drunk, but he just, well, talked drunker. he was also tripping over things. which was mildly amusing. (mildly)

I however had decided to sit in one spot, not moving was chatting with Kurt online and watching Stargate. The only problems I really had was this annoying dizzy feeling. it was hard to see. And took a bit more effort to walk in a straight line.

Alcohol is funny.

I have found most of the "brown" drinks taste pretty much the same. Not horrible, but really not that good. A few dashes into a glass of coke adds a bit of  "brown" flavor without adding to much alcohol or intense flavor.

Irish whiskey however was weird, had a slightly off taste. Brandy was a bit lighter then what I remember from regular whiskeys, Gin was just WEIRD, have to try in coke and see what happens. Liqueurs are pointless. and flavored Bacardi? mix your own you lazy person.

So, Ice cold Gin is not bad, tried it, sorta martini style. where does one get vermouth? 

But my all time favorite so far is Vodka. I must be Russian.

And for some reason I seem to remember liking tequila.

Have I had rum? (unflavored)

My spell check is lying to me.


It is true. strangely.

I am alive.


So lately have been writing a very innefficient search engine. wowzers. I will put it here when I have finished.

I did not go to edmonton. I said that a few posts ago.

hopefully this week.

If I were a birdy

If I were a birdy, a birdy I would be.
I would fly around in circles, and build a nest upon a tree.

If I were a birdy, of the feathered type.
I’d be gray or brown, or maybe with a stripe

If I were a birdy, of the annoying kind.
I would perch up on a statue, and not ask you if you mind.

If I were a birdy, the type that likes to sing.
I would learn beethoven, for the audience it would bring.

If I were a birdy, the type you seldom see.
I would hide from people, unless they talk to me.

If I were a birdy, a pest or something worse.
I would ravage gardens, I’d be something of a curse.

I’m glad I’m not a birdy, It seems a lot of work.
With all those silly rules, I probably go berserk.


oh yes, and today?

I bought a MAC (PowerMac G3).

And yes, PC persons all over the world probably just shuttered.

And tomorrow?

I hope to buy a Super Nintendo.

Edmonton Part 3

So. Today I was going to go to edmonton.

More or less planned it out, but I get a phone call.

Dennis (the boss man) is in town, and I have to be there.

I go. 3 hours later he shows up and says I don’t have the weekend off. not completely unusual, was just hoping to sneak through and disapear for a few days.

So. maybe this week.


I hope.

This will also give me more time to wander into Kel-Tire to have them look at my tires. plural. It seems that they are dead.

Yesterday both of my tires on the right side were low, one was flat. was unhappy, but drove few blocks to get air.

My portable air compressor thingy does not have an attachment for tires. what is the point? oh yeah air mattresses. Need new one.

So, is holding air sorta, but just means will have to keep filling. sigh.



I will go sometime, hopefully soon.